Of endings… and beginnings

As the year 2012 is coming to an end, I am sad to say that the life of my Newton running shoes has also come to an end. I decided that it was time to decommission it after I completed my fourth marathon on 2nd December. The problem is that I am quite reluctant to throw the shoes away because I am feeling kind of sentimental about them and they embody some kind of symbolic meaning and significance to a certain part of my life. Since I cannot frame the shoes up and preserve it in some way, perhaps I can write about it and in a way, pay tribute to this pair of inanimate objects.

For those who know my relationship with long-distance running, you will know that I attribute it to the lucky draw win in 2011 which gave me the opportunity to run my first marathon in Los Angeles. The other lucky draw winner was Azmi, who is coincidentally the same age as me. Besides the two of us, Melvin flew to LA to run the marathon as well as he was supposed to write an article about his experience in the Men’s Health magazine. How cool is that! This was how I made two new friends and they were fantastic company during the trip. Thankfully for Facebook, we are still in touch. Before the marathon, we went to the LA Marathon Expo, which was near Dodger Stadium (baseball fans will be most familiar with this). This is very similar to where you would go to when you would like to collect your race pack. Those who have participated in the major running events, you will know what I mean. At the collection venue, there are usually other booths set up where you can purchase running gears, shoes and other sports- and fitness-related items. The ones we have in Singapore are nothing like the LA Marathon Expo. Well, Singapore has a space constraint so I guess that is understandable. I am just amazed by the vast area where the LA Marathon Expo was held. It was like a carnival, an outdoor one. It was in March, which was the beginning of springtime, so the weather in LA was pleasant and cool.

It was at this Expo that I saw the booth selling Newton running shoes. At that time, Newton running shoes were not sold in Singapore and I thought I would take a look since one of my friends told me that their running shoes are pretty good. No harm taking a look, I thought. After asking a couple of questions, the salesgirl recommended me a pair to try. As mentioned in the earlier paragraph, there was a lot of space at the Expo so when the salesgirl let me try the shoes, she did not mean “put it on and take a walk around”. There was ample space for me to jog around and even do short sprints to experience running in those shoes. I was having fun running around like a small child and I was not even perspiring because the weather was simply fantastic. When I was done trying on the shoes, I went back to the salesgirl and told her that the shoes were very comfortable and asked what other colours they had. The shoes only came in one colour – orange. I am not an orange person. I am a pastel colours person. Pink, baby blue, lavender, peach… but no, not orange. Azmi thought I should buy them since it was a good bargain.

Did I really want to be seen running in orange-coloured shoes? Girls are vain, I must admit it. We are sometimes more concerned about how nice it looks rather than the functionality or quality of the item or equipment. Shoes take up space in the suitcase. After my LA trip, I was flying to Washington DC to attend the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium and I was planning to buy a lot of books. Buying that pair of shoes would mean reduced luggage space for the books. More importantly, am I going to continue running after the marathon? Will I use those shoes when I return to Singapore? Such trivial issues, just because I could not decide whether or not to buy the shoes.

Eventually, I bought the Newton running shoes. My first pair of orange-coloured shoes. This was the story of the shoes, its beginnings, and how it defined my relationship with long-distance running. I could have stopped running marathons after that lucky draw win. I could have stopped running. But I continued.

With these pair of Newton running shoes, I completed one half-marathon (Sundown Marathon 2011) and three marathons (Standard Chartered Marathon 2011, Sundown Marathon 2012 and Standard Chartered Marathon 2012). They have served me well.

Endings do not necessarily mean the end. Endings provide an opportunity for new beginnings. Perhaps we can even call it continuity. We are fast approaching the new year and some of you may be making your customary new year resolutions in hope for a fresh start for 2013. During this period of time, it is likely that you will review how 2012 has been for you. What are the endings for 2012 and what are the beginnings for 2013? What will you continue from 2012 to 2013? It may not be advisable to keep doing the same thing because no change may lead to stagnation and that is probably not a very good thing. So, how will 2013 be different for you? How will 2013 be better for you?

I did not fly to LA to buy another pair of Newton running shoes to replace my old ones. Now, they are sold in Singapore and I have already bought myself a new pair. Newton is a strange brand. They do not make shoes in varying colours. Each model comes in a unique combination of colours. Believe me, they are all in bright, loud and striking colours. Hence, no prizes for guessing the colour of my new pair of Newton running shoes.

Orange.

I will be running in 2013.

Perhaps another marathon.

*Below are earlier blog entries, which are related to running and taking care of our physical body.
"Run, Forrest, run"
"The house of the soul"

The house of the soul

Each of us has our own associations with the word “soul”. Whether you have a religious belief or not, the soul can be thought of as the essence of who you are as a human being. The soul is a part of you which is neither physical nor matter, consisting of the mind, thoughts, emotions, personality and whatever you consider the spirit of the self. To me, the house of the soul is in fact the body. Our body is the custodian of our soul because the effects of the body, whether good or bad, will affect the soul. Of course, the effects of the soul are also felt by the body because there is a connection between the body and the soul.

From my belief of the Bahá'í Faith, the Báb said, “As this physical frame is the throne of the inner temple, whatever occurs to the former is felt by the latter.” Buddha referred to this idea as well that, “To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

In the paragraphs that follow, I would like to focus on how we can take care of the house of the soul through physical activity. The expressions of the soul are projected to the outside world in our interactions with people around us. The attributes of the soul are also reflected in the work that we produce and create in our everyday life.

For most people, to engage in a physical activity is to exercise or play a sport. I believe that the Health Promotion Board (HPB) has attempted to educate the population in various ways through talks, brochures, advertisements about the importance of exercise and the effects of having a healthy body and lifestyle. Most of us probably have an intellectual and factual understanding of these ideas and yet they are so difficult to implement in our busy city lifestyles. In fact, I wonder how many of the people in HPB actually walk the talk. It is much easier to tell someone what to do than to actually carry it out yourself. Whenever I make any suggestions or recommendations about what my clients can do to make changes and adjustments in their lives, I ask myself if I have been able to do them myself and ponder on my own experience of having done so. As much as we desire idealism, life has its practical dimension and we have to be realistic about our expectations about what can or cannot be done.

So, how do we strike a balance so that we allow ourselves to experience life in a variety of ways? I call it “self-care”. Otherwise, we will be running our life on an empty tank. Rather than viewing physical activity as a necessity for maintaining your fitness or some sort of a chore and burden, it is really taking care of your body and a form of respite from the stressors of your life.

There is never enough time for anything else besides our work, school or running the household. It is true that time is an important parameter in this equation because all of us have the same finite amount of time – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It can also be argued that our experience of the length of time is not the same. Typically, when we are doing something that we enjoy or spending time with people whom we love, time seems to fly by so quickly. However, when we are feeling down or when we are doing something we are not particularly excited about, time seems to take forever to pass.

Hence, whatever physical activity we choose to do, it has to fit into the rhythm of our life. We have to select something, which our body is capable of doing, nothing too strenuous and vigorous if your limbs and your heart are unable to endure. It is beyond maintaining fitness – you have to feel good about it. Actually, there is a range of possibilities that you can consider: walking, jogging, running, swimming, cycling, sports, golf, dancing and so on. Even when you select a particular activity, there are so many ways of customising that activity so that it suits your personality, lifestyle, life-stage, and has features and characteristics of who you are.

Esther has been actively involved in sports since she was a little girl. She shared that although she is a very good swimmer, she prefers to run. She feels that swimming is too restrictive since she often swims in the swimming pool, and swimming laps across the pool is not very interesting or exciting for her. Instead, she enjoys running in a park where she can soak in the atmosphere, breathe in the fresh air and find delight in the lush greenery of the surroundings. Running gives Esther a sense of freedom and a feeling of liberation. Esther found for herself an avenue which gives her strength to get through the challenges of her life.

For the longest time, I was very much accustomed to the sedentary lifestyle of engaging in indoor activities such as reading, going to the movies and shopping in the malls. Occasionally, I went swimming just to make sure I maintained some level of fitness and lose the calories from my indulgence in chocolates and cakes.

When I first started running about a year and a half ago, I ran not because I enjoyed running. I did not enjoy running then. I ran because my friend encouraged me to do so. During the prime of my youth, running never struck me as an activity of choice. Never. I ran for the sake of running.

After about half a year of running regularly, somehow, I found a kind of rhythm, which resonated with my being. That was when running made sense to me and had a meaning for me. I found my favourite running routes, which alternated between running on the skybridge of the place where I live, and running around the city area, which is near the vicinity of my home. While running on the skybridge, I enjoy the night sky, which is often lit by the bright moon and dotted with numerous stars when there is little cloud cover. I get to admire the beautiful view of the city skyline as well as the vastness of the city landscape from the elevated position on the skybridge. As for the city route, I usually run along the Singapore river where high-rise office buildings and other fancy architectures populate the surroundings. During my runs, I listen to my iPod nano, which plays my favourite songs and audio recordings of talks by various psychotherapists and other inspirational speakers. When I am on my feet, I connect with myself, the whole of my being – body, mind and soul. I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. I become inspired.

Take a moment to think about what you can do for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a walk in the park, strolling at your own pace and connecting with parts of yourself that you did not have time to pay attention to. If you have a pet dog, walking the dog can be fun and enjoyable as well. For those with infants, this is a perfect opportunity to put your baby in the stroller and take a walk around your housing estate.

All of us are unique individuals and what works for me may not work for you. What is important is to take the first step, to start exploring what works for you, and create a sense of rhythm for yourself to allow the energy to flow within your body, the house of your soul

Whatever you choose to do, be mindful of your experience. Be present with yourself. Be there for you.

Passing the baton

When I was in primary school, I was in the athletic team. My forte was the 100-m sprinting event - I was never able to sprint for more than that distance. I am always amazed at how some people had the energy to run at top speed for 200-m or even 400-m! I am not well-versed in sports at all and if you have been following my previous posts, you would have noticed that I have recently started long distance running.

Anyhow, another sporting event I participated then was the 4 x 100-m relay race. I recall that the runner who is to receive the baton will start to run when the runner with the baton is nearing - the preparation to receive the baton and to continue the race is extremely crucial. No time can be wasted during the transition period and the baton cannot be dropped!

I was back in the office for two days this week and I identified the cases to be transferred. I feel as if I am passing the "baton" to another "runner". I do not have control over the "performance" of that runner but I can try to ensure that the "baton" is passed in the most effective way possible.

The next counsellor has yet to be identified for most of the cases so there is no way of preparing him or her. I may not be able to brief my colleagues about the cases. All I can do is to fill up the transfer documents with as much information as possible. For cases which I have seen for some time, they are easier for me to complete the form-filling exercise. For the others, there is very little I can write about because I have not seen the client for many sessions to get a sense of what may be helpful for him.

If I can, I try to suggest specific counsellors to take over certain cases. I can only hope for a good match for the counsellor-client pair. I cannot predict the outcome. The most I can do is to ensure that I do my best to provide the next counsellor with as much information as possible - to pass the baton well.

Once each case file leaves my hands, I have to "let go". To let go of feeling responsible for the outcome of the case; to let go of wanting to know how the client is faring. Holding on will do me no good. I will feel burdened in many different ways.

"Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go. - Oprah Winfrey"